Post by Cataleah Rhoslyn Pavlenco on Oct 14, 2013 9:23:20 GMT
I'M THE NEW CANCER
•• N E V E R • L O O K E D • B E T T E R ••
A N D Y O U C A N ' T S T A N D I T
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Just another day in paradise. Except it wasn't paradise at all. Really it was just another day spent in hell. There wasn't a single thing in this world that Leah hated more than hospitals. But the doctors were insistent and wouldn't let her just brush them off. They just wouldn't quit. It was irritating. Leah was going to die, she was dying, she accepted that, why couldn't they?
Her morning had started out much like any other morning. It was a Tuesday, she had skipped school. She had outstanding grades so one day wouldn't matter. She was feeling terrible anyway. She had drug herself out of bed, made breakfast for everyone, and then made sure that her five younger siblings got off to their own respective schools. After that it was time for a shower and then she had headed to her appointment. She would have skipped it except that then the doctor would call her father and her father would freak out on her. So she sucked it up and went. It was some more wasted time in the waiting area before she finally got called back. The nurse proceeded to lecture her on her chosen new lifestyle. Warning her that alcohol, cigarettes, and any other kinds of drugs that Leah might find herself trying, were detrimental to her health. Leah didn't care though, she didn't have any good health to ruin anyways. She nodded and agreed like a good girl and then waited for the doctor.
A magazine entertained her mildly until Dr. Richards, her long time leukemia doctor, came into the room. He proceeded to run some tests. Taking some blood, checking her heart rate, pulse, asking a million questions. Her lies only carried her so far here. She had lost fifteen pounds in the last month, was pale, shaky, all in all she was sick. Dr. Richards prescribed her some medications to help with nausea and pain and then sent her on her way. No chemo today, no chemo at all unless they happened across a type that she hadn't already tried. She had stopped responding to treatments a few months ago and at this point getting blood and bone marrow transfusions were the only thing that helped at all. That was easier said than done though since she was O- blood type. Leah smiled at the doctor, the nurse, the waiting room lady, and got out of there as fast as she could.
Back on the street now she headed towards downtown to do something with the rest of her day. Might as well right? As she walked she pulled out a cigarette and lit it, pulling drags off of it. It didn't take long for her to find herself feeling light headed and out of breath. She found a nearby bench and lowered herself onto it with a sigh. Luckily it was right next to a trash can as well because she proceeded to upchuck her breakfast from a few hours ago into it. She pulled out a water bottle to rinse out of her mouth and leaned her head back against the bench, letting the sun soak into her skin. It felt nice, and warm. The doctor had warned her to take it easy the rest of the day since he had taken blood. But she wasn't one to listen to doctors orders anyway. She ran her hand through her hair, pushing it off of her clammy face, and took another long draw from her cigarette. Holding the smoke in her mouth for a moment before slowly blowing it out. Right now smoking and drinking, and anything else that helped her escape reality, was all that was keeping her sane. She was fighting with cancer and it was winning.
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• B E C A U S E Y O U S A Y S O •
UNDER YOUR BREATH
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